How Do You Deal With a Parent Who Is Getting Dementia?
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 at
6:11 am
Diana J asked:
My mom is 77 years old and is showing signs of dementia. She becomes disoriented at time and can’ remember things. Example she did not know what house she was in today when I talked to her on the phone. She is also a diabetic and is on Kidney dialysis. My dad takes care of her but doesn’t seem to get the dementia, almost like a denial.
Tagged with: Dad • Diabetic Kidney • Kidney Dialysis
Filed under: Alzheimers
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Look up your local hospital’s website and see if they have a support group for people in your situation.
My heart breaks for you and the pain you are going through and will continue to go through with your Mother’s condition.
We took care of our Mother as long as we were able to but there comes a time when you MUST place her in a nursing home that has people trained to care for her.
Be sure and take her to her doctor and no matter what she says speak to the doctor on her behalf and tell him/her what is happening. There is medication that has some degree of slowing down the process but….
The time will come when your Mother is no longer able to do even the most basic hygiene, or feed herself or recognize you and your Dad.
As sad as it is to say she will become lost in her own mind and unable to function.
You might want to refer her to a geriatric physician who can test her level of dementia. There is also medicine that works for some people on dementia. Your father is most likely in denial. It is hard. My mother was like that. It was sad. Do the best you can with it and help your mom find her way when she gets a little lost mentally.
First thing you should do is take her to a good geriatric physician and get a thorough exam and memory test. She may just have a urinary tract infection. This can cause confusion and disorientation in elderly people. My mom had that and she ended up in a geriatric psych hospital because she became completely paranoid and delusional.
If it’s truly dementia that she has then you should check to see if your state or county has an aging services department. They can give you good information and usually have lists of social workers or counselors who are experts in dealing with dementia. They can give you advice for your dad as well as your mom. Don’t try to take this on alone.
Has for your mother been tested? If not, you may need to step in and make sure she gets help. she’s mom and the mom is the person in charge not your Dad, right. that’s usually the case and if mom is in another world, well your father is lost and confused about what to do. They do need your help, but don’t know how to ask, because that’s her job and she’s not herself right now.(their are a bunch of meds to help if you and your family know what’s what!).Good luck!!l
Get him information from a Medical source, print it out and both of you read it together. Your father doesn’t want to see or believe this I am sure. This is his love and that means it too is a loss. As far as how you treat this…like a child. You have a new baby in the house but instead of young and learning, she will be losing what she knows and needs you all the same to love her and care for her just as if it were us in that situation. on a positive note, research and give your dad a project to find what causes it and how to help it from going any further if possible.
Wow! God love you all. Be absolutely gentle, never become angry. Instead hug and hug some more. Smile when the situation becomes unbearable. The end time may not be close, all the more reason to comfort your moma. She will never be the same again, but you can be the same everyday. Find out more from the Doctor, RN, etc. what you can do. Don’t abandon your moma. Show your family how its done.