How Do I Get a Person With Dementia to Agree to Accept Outside Help?
Tuesday, July 6th, 2010 at
8:16 pm
mamagena asked:
This person is my spouse. I can be available if I leave my job, but he will need to support me financially. Or I can keep working, but he will need to hire caregivers while I am out of the house. His doctors tell me I can no longer leave him home alone. His Power of attorney requires me to involve him in decision making as long as he is conscious.
Tagged with: dementia • Doctors • Power Of Attorney
Filed under: Alzheimers
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Maybe you can introduce the person to him gradually before you go to work, let’s say for a week or two. Begin with a visit, then make it longer the next time, and longer the next time. In time, your husband may view the person as a friend and agree to having your leave. During the phase in period, tell him you have to go out to get groceries or something and that his companion will be with him. Maybe the companion can also do things around the house so that he gets the impression the person is helping you, not him. I hope you can understand this whole fading in procedure. If not, write to me.
You will just have to do what is best for him. He will never accept help on his own. Been there. As far as him being involved in decision making process there is no way. As this progress’s he will not know where he is at and will have no Ideal how to make a decision. So sorry this is a terrible disease.
Hi!–I so wish there were good & easy answers to questions like this. He probably will not be pleased about a compamion/caregiver, but the other posters are right, try to give the impression that they are primarily helping you. You have said before that the clear minded times are becoming more rare, & as that process continues, it should become less of a problem to him. Does he enjoy playing crds, doing puzzles or any crafts, even going for a ride or a walk? Those might be activities he would be willing do accept a stranger for. You may have to look in to having the POA altered, because the day will come when he will clearly be unable to participate in any decisions, & would have to be declared a ward of the court in order to get what he needs but doesn’t necessarily want. Do you have any kids or other family? If so maybe they should be involved in all this in some way. Its a really heavy load for you to shoulder alone.