Can Anyone Advise Me on Caring for a Parent With Dementia?
Saturday, February 27th, 2010 at
1:23 am
Jorm asked:
I am trying to care for my mother. She is in early stages of dementia, and becoming fairly difficult. The doctor, the counselor, and all my family members want me to put her in the nursing home. It tears my heart out to do this. I want to keep her home, but my family think I am crazy. Any input would be appreciated.
Tagged with: dementia • Early Stages Of Dementia • Family Members
Filed under: Alzheimers
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patient
shes your mother
what can be more important than that?
she took care of u when u are young
never heard she yells bout it
I have not dealt with this, but I would suggest you take advantage of adult day care as much as possible, and make sure you ask other people to help. If your mom is low income, she may be eligible for workers to come to her home and give help with things like personal hygeine, and you can get a little break to do some shopping, etc. At some point, you may have to put her in the nursing home, but maybe these things can delay that.
You can keep her home. It can be hard to deal with the dementia – but at least you know what it is and you love your mom. Just treat her with love, like you would any sick person. If she gets dangerous to you or herself, then a nursing home may be a more viable option. The Alzheimer’s Association has support groups – even though she may not have Alzheimer’s – they have great support groups that can help you deal with the dementia symptoms
It is a rare Dr. these days who diagnos this “dementia”.
Why do you feel badly about putting her in a nursing home? It is much better professional care around the clock that you cannot give her.
Her conditon will get worse.
Do you have a guilty issue with her? Are you doing this at home care because you are trying to make up for something you did in the past?
Let it go.
The early stages of dementia you can handle, but the later stages I am very concerned about. Can you handle the lifting and the keeping track of your mother constantly? Can you handle what it is like when she cannot remember you? It IS a very hard decision. You have to take care of yourself too. Before checking her in to a nursing home- go over the entire list of medications she is taking with her primary care physician. Ask the doctor what EACH and EVERY medication is for and why that dosage is used. I have a friend that followed that procedure for her mom and it made a major difference. Her mother had been in a fog before- once the doctor realized what she was taking and how much, he changed it. My friend’s mother now remembers her and enjoys seeing her and talking with her.
I work in a memory care facility, and it’s safer because you have 100% around the clock nurses watching over them. It can be scary doing this yourself because sometimes they might get out. or get lost, and the place were i worked had the doors locked so the people couldn’t leave. As dementia progresses it probably will get to a point where she will have to be supervised 24 hours. as for now if she doesn’t have too many episodes it should be fine for you to take care of her, just have an alarm on so you know she doesn’t try to leave in the middle of the night. good luck and sorry for your mother.
Can I tell you the honest truth?? I took care of my grandmother for almost a year. I was with her from the day she got diagnosed to the day we had to take her to the nursing home. She was MISERABLE at home! She had to be controlled and she was startin to lose her undestanding of things but was still sane enough to know she was being controlled and she was also aware that she was losing grip with reality. This really bothered her. It got to a point where we had to watch hr 24 hrs a day. I would go in the morning my sister in the after noon my dad for 1/2 the night and my mom the other half. You cannot let this control YOUR life! My grandmother is happier than ever now that she is in a nursing home (make sure they have an alzheimers unit) she has her room and can walk around and watch tv and do activities! I visit her every weekend and now she no longer recognizes me. BUT I STILL RECOGNIZE HER!
Please I know this is hard for you!! But it is the best for you and your mother that she be in good care before this consumes your life like it did my family’s life!
God Bless you and all of luck!